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A Tale of Two Foxes (Preview - WIP Cover) by WhispricusFox A Tale of Two Foxes (Preview - WIP Cover) :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 3 3
Literature
Dialogue 101
                                              The Do’s and Don’ts of Writing Dialogue
Do’s
       One of the most essential parts of writing dialogue is properly formatting it so the reader understands who is speaking, who they are speaking to, and most importantly: that they are in-fact speaking. Dialogue should be contained within quotation marks and indented from the left as far as a paragraph. Each new speaker’s dialogue should also be on a separate line. Let’s say Suzy and Jack are fighting over milk. First we will give the dialogue context:
      It was almost dinner time at the Clorus Family home. Jill asked her son Jack to pour milk for himself and her daughter Suzy. When Jack was filling the first glass, the carton ran out.
      Context allows the reader to understand wh
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 0 2
Literature
*sigh*
I am incredibly frustrated right now, about two things. One, the birthday contest; 130-sh people looked at it but no one entered. I thought people would like a core membership as a reward, but I guess not. Second, and what really pissed me off, back in february I posted a short thing asking people to tell me if the poll I posted actually was seen by anyone. 150 people looked at that little question, and not one person, NOT ONE PERSON actually bothered to take 30 seconds to tell me if I had done it right. Why even bother looking at something titled "Quick Question" if you aren't even going to bother trying to answer it? I just don't get it.
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 0 4
Literature
Patreon
So I've decided to try using Patreon. I don't know how well it's going to go, but who knows. Maybe it'll get some interest. Anyway, for anyone interested in checking out my page: https://www.patreon.com/WhispTheFox. My DA gallery has a good example of what will appear on my patreon page. I've already got one blog post there detailing an upcoming piece.
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 0 0
Literature
Birthday Contest
Hey All,
So, my birthday is on Thursday, and I will be turning 18. So I want to commemorate the occasion with a contest. The idea is rather interesting. There will be no special theme, or any particular guidelines. I have come up with an a judging system that is unbiased so as to prevent me from judging based on my own personal likes and interests. Any type of literature, drawings of all types, photographs, stories of any type, poems of any type, and music of any type can all be submitted. There will be one winner who will receive a three month core membership. (This is probably a better reward than my last contest)
Judging Rubric:
Drawings:
 Precision of lines: x/5
 complexity: x/5
 neatness/variations of color: x/5
 level of detail: x/5
Stories:
 complexity of plot: x/5
 personalities/design of characters: x/5
 Grammatical precision: x/5
(if you enter a written piece and you are not native to English please let me know.)
 Length: x/5
(this sect
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 0 0
Literature
The Forest and Me
Oh the forest I do see, is without question, inviting me.
I follow a call, that says to all, “to nature, come yonder and wander with me.”
She shows not herself, but her best friend the bird;
who sings a song, a song just for me, that points in the direction, of serenity.
The forest, she is, a force unbroken, by all of us, the unjust weeds.
A whole world of wonders beneath every step; not a single one does she miss or forget, for she is all, and you, and me.
But farther she does, still take me; farther still into serenity.
Lost in her home, I search constantly, for where I began, this long journey.
“Do not leave yet,” she calls out to me, “for you still must see, me for me.”
I do not understand, but follow her yet, for what she might still, bestow upon me.
Deeper she leads, and further away, from all dismay, and calamity.
As deeper I go, I feel not me, but wild, wild, wild and free.
I look in the mirror, of the lake, and see that not human, but deer I
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 1 0
Literature
Whispricus Reedwell is a Mary Sue?
So yea, I have a question for all of you. As I've been writing the story for my two characters, Whisp and Wynra I've begun to feel that Whisp is becoming somewhat of a Mary Sue type character. I made a poll with this question about a week ago but got no responses so I'm just putting this up so that people might see it. Here is the poll: http://whispricusfox.deviantart.com/journal/poll/6578952/#comments. If you don't know anything about Whisp, here is a portion of the story so you learn about him: http://whispricusfox.deviantart.com/art/A-Tale-of-Two-Foxes-Story-WIP-667989391
I'm just trying to get input from other people to decide if I've gone too far with his magic.
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 1 0
Literature
Important Question
Important Question for my watchers: can you all see the poll I posted? I want to make sure it worked.
EDIT: No input...thanks guys...Out of 158 people that viewed this, not one of you could take 30 seconds to look? *sigh*
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 0 0
A Tale of Two Foxes (Story) (WIP) by WhispricusFox A Tale of Two Foxes (Story) (WIP) :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 3 3
Literature
Interjection
*fwup* hey...Wynra, give me back my scarf. *Whisp gets up from his chair and walks over to Wynra and reaches for the scarf she has behind her back*
I needed to get your attention somehow. And I thought I’d mention, Whisp made no mention of his powers to me before that moment. Also, I brought teaaaAAYYYEOOOW-
Give me my scarf.
YIEE! WHISP! YOU’RE STANDING ON MY TAIL!
Just give me my- *clonk* *Wynra bonks Whisp’s head with a mug* Ow! What was that for?
GET OFF MY TAIL!
Oh, sorry.
Aahh, thank you.
Come sit with me while I tell our guest our story.
Oh I’d love to.
Good! Good. Now where was I?
:iconWhispricusFox:WhispricusFox
:iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 1 0
Whisp and Wynra (WIP) by WhispricusFox Whisp and Wynra (WIP) :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 4 5 Landscape Panoramas 1 by WhispricusFox Landscape Panoramas 1 :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 0 0 Landscape Panoramas 2 by WhispricusFox Landscape Panoramas 2 :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 1 0 Landscape Panoramas 3 by WhispricusFox Landscape Panoramas 3 :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 0 0 Landscape Panoramas 4 by WhispricusFox Landscape Panoramas 4 :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 2 0 Landscape Panoramas 5 by WhispricusFox Landscape Panoramas 5 :iconwhispricusfox:WhispricusFox 2 0

Favourites

Literature
Reckless - Poem
You don't know your limits
You ignore your pain
You think if they don't see it
That that equates to strength
Your words burst like explosions
Spoken with passion, fury, fire...
Your actions quake, but in their wake
You desolate what is worthwhile
All you want is power
All you want is fame
But every word strikes terror
And fast inspire fear and hate
You wanted them to respect you
But now you've made them your enemies
And as for those who were closest to you
Well you have chased them all away
Yet still you wont admit it
That the choices that you made were wrong
Your bitterness just fuels wrath
That you'll unleash upon them all!
You dare not to regret it
Or believe this path you've chosen is folly
You force yourself to believe that
Only the weak would say they're sorry
And so every past mistake you've made
Just culminates into another one
You let the darkness consume you
You say it's too late!
You're too far gone!
But know that the light is coming soon
And in a flash of brig
:iconShimmeringDewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops
:iconshimmeringdewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops 8 6
Foxy Friends by AlexKH97 Foxy Friends :iconalexkh97:AlexKH97 31 11 At peace by FigoFox At peace :iconfigofox:FigoFox 117 48 I will love you forever and ever by StarlightsMarti I will love you forever and ever :iconstarlightsmarti:StarlightsMarti 87 4 The Afternoon Serpent by Nuwer-Designs The Afternoon Serpent :iconnuwer-designs:Nuwer-Designs 30 21 Daily: 2-19-17 by Meorow Daily: 2-19-17 :iconmeorow:Meorow 143 10 Quedate a mi lado / Stay with me by AlexKH97 Quedate a mi lado / Stay with me :iconalexkh97:AlexKH97 19 12 Sunset Hunting by ISHAWEE Sunset Hunting :iconishawee:ISHAWEE 436 17 Because We Care by rieke-b Because We Care :iconrieke-b:rieke-b 129 45 Kitsune [request] by Chameleonade Kitsune [request] :iconchameleonade:Chameleonade 24 17 Cathedral of Pain by Vitaj Cathedral of Pain :iconvitaj:Vitaj 50 4 Abyss by Vitaj Abyss :iconvitaj:Vitaj 46 5 Wreckage by Vitaj Wreckage :iconvitaj:Vitaj 48 2 Finished ! by EstrellaCazadora Finished ! :iconestrellacazadora:EstrellaCazadora 4 3 Art trade by EstrellaCazadora Art trade :iconestrellacazadora:EstrellaCazadora 7 6 Zombie Dino by Alainasaurus Zombie Dino :iconalainasaurus:Alainasaurus 3 2

Activity


Hey all, So, Patreon failed bigtime. I knew it would. That is completely irrelevant to the topic of this...wow...anyway, I have started making myself an online art portfolio for all my art creations from literature to music. There is also a blog there. And, when I finish editing my book, I may try to set up a shop thing to sell pdf copies or epub copies. My dream is to actually publish and print the book, but who knows. I will probably at least try to get a printed copy for myself when the book is done. I just don't know how much it would cost. Anyway, here's my site: whispricuswriting.net. And yes, I did code it all myself.
A Tale of Two Foxes (Preview - WIP Cover)
I was originally planning on completing chapter 2 before I shared this, but that didn't end up happening. I hope to eventually publish and sell the book, but it may be a while before that happens. Also, I will eventually complete the cover. Probably after finals. Also also, The rough text of the book has been completely written and adds up to roughly 296 pages, 48,516 words.
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                                              The Do’s and Don’ts of Writing Dialogue


Do’s
       One of the most essential parts of writing dialogue is properly formatting it so the reader understands who is speaking, who they are speaking to, and most importantly: that they are in-fact speaking. Dialogue should be contained within quotation marks and indented from the left as far as a paragraph. Each new speaker’s dialogue should also be on a separate line. Let’s say Suzy and Jack are fighting over milk. First we will give the dialogue context:

      It was almost dinner time at the Clorus Family home. Jill asked her son Jack to pour milk for himself and her daughter Suzy. When Jack was filling the first glass, the carton ran out.

      Context allows the reader to understand why the dialogue is applicable at that moment in the story. The context also leads into the dialogue, and keeps it flowing. Now the dialogue will start. Because Jack is pouring the milk and will probably see the carton run out before Suzy his dialogue will come first.

      “The milk is out,” Jack announced.

      Before the closing quotation mark add a comma if there are more words to follow the dialogue. At the end of the dialogue indicate the speaker and how they are saying it. This provides a specific predetermined way for the reader to perceive the dialogue. At this point we want to switch over to Suzy so we can tell the reader where Suzy is in relation to Jack and her response. Maybe something like this:

      From her chair at the table Suzy strained her neck to look around Jack to see if her glass had been filled. Upon seeing the single filled glass Suzy spoke out.
“I call dibs,” Suzy declared.

       This is where the argument would really start. However, don’t go overboard with the exchange. Keep it within reason for the situation. Jack shouldn’t be making any philosophical reasoning against Suzy calling dibs. It wouldn’t be appropriate. Jack might respond with something like this:

      “I poured it, so it’s mine,” Jack quipped defiantly.

      Now let’s put all of this together with the rest of this exchange.


      It was almost dinner time at the Clorus Family home. Jill asked her son Jack to pour milk for himself and her daughter Suzy. When Jack was filling the first glass, the carton ran out.
      “The milk is out,” Jack announced.
      From her chair at the table Suzy strained her neck to look around Jack to see if her glass had been filled. Upon seeing the single filled glass Suzy spoke out.
      “I call dibs,” Suzy declared.
      “I poured it, so it’s mine,” Jack quipped defiantly.
      “I called dibs on it first, so it’s mine,” Suzy snapped back.
      “I don’t care if you called dibs. You didn’t pour the milk,” Jack said as he began to raise his voice.
      “I’m older, so I should have it,” Suzy yelled back.
      The two kids yelled back and forth for nearly twenty minutes before Jill stepped in.
      “I’ll take the milk,” Jill announced, quelling the argument.
      The milk was gone in three gulps.

      Now, this conversation could continue on for a long time, but we want to keep the reader’s attention. Allowing conversations to last too long will become boring. Writing dialogue this way is also the most basic form of dialogue, and is where a novice writer would want to start as they experiment with writing dialogue. However, having a character name and expressiveness after every dialogue line can hinder the flow of dialogue and slow down reading it. The best solution to this is to drop the end bits and replace the comma with a period. Sometimes dialogue can be positioned at the end of a non-dialogue paragraph to lead into spoken sections. Sometimes other subsequent lines will have to be modified so that they flow better if such changes are made. When there are only two characters speaking it is easy for the reader to distinguish between the speakers as long as the sequence is reasonable. Let’s make these changes to our small dialogue section.

      It was almost dinner time at the Clorus Family home. Jill asked her son Jack to pour milk for himself and her daughter Suzy. When Jack was filling the first glass, the carton ran out.
      “The milk is out,” Jack announced.
      From her chair at the table Suzy strained her neck to look around Jack to see if her glass had been filled. Upon seeing the single filled glass she declared, “I call dibs.”
      “I poured it, so it’s mine,” Jack quipped defiantly.
      “I called dibs on it first, so it’s mine.”
      “I don’t care if you called dibs. You didn’t pour the milk,” Jack said as he began to raise his voice.
      “I’m older, so I should have it,” Suzy yelled back.
      The two kids yelled back and forth for nearly twenty minutes before Jill stepped in.
      “I’ll take the milk.”
      Jill took the glass and drank all of it in three gulps.
      Upset that they wouldn’t get the milk Jack and Suzy glared at each other; blaming each other for the outcome.
      As you can see, some other changes were necessary to make it sound right, and some additions were left because they are necessary to show changes and progression in the argument. Dialogue is also different depending on the situation. For example, if two friends were talking about a ski trip things would be different. Maybe a character would say something that provides the context. Here’s an example:

      “Hey, you know that J-shaped trail that’s kinda on the left of the hill?” Jack imitated the shape with his arm.
      “Yea, I do. I literally just skied it,” Molly replied.
      “Well, I saw a sick terrain park veering off right about halfway up.”
      “Yea...what about it?”
      “I went through the half pipe. I think you should try it on your board.”
      Molly stared inquisitively at Jack for a moment.
      “You sure? I’m not that good at tricks.”
      “You don’t need to be.”

      This is just a simple conversation that shows Jack pushing his friend Molly to try a run on a ski mountain. As you may notice, it only says which person said each line only once, but you still know who is talking. This is because you get a sense for their attitudes toward the topic. Based on how each speaker feels when they speak you can determine who it is. There is also that small break that isn’t in dialogue. That and Jack’s gesture at the beginning add to the scene by giving the reader physical actions to visualize which helps to keep the reader’s attention.

Don’ts
      Some of the most common issues with dialogue are when the writer does not indicate who is saying what, especially when more than one character is introduced. For this example we will introduce the dad into Jack and Suzy’s argument.

      Jack was pouring milk for him and his sister at his mom’s request.
      “The milk is out,” Jack said.
      Jack decided the milk would be for him.
      “I want the milk.”
      “No, it should be mine.”
      “But I’m older.”
      “No, it’s mine.”
      “Stop.”
      “No. It’s my milk.”
      “No, mine.”
      “No, mine.”
      “Mine.”
      “Mine.”
      “I said it’s mine.”
      “And I said it’s mine.”
      “Give me the milk.”
      “No, it’s mine.”
      “No, mine.”
      “Kids, stop.”
      “No, it’s my milk. Not yours.”
      “We told you to stop.”
      Jill walks over and takes the glass and drinks all of it to stop the argument.

      Do you have any idea who is saying what? Who is saying “stop”? It’s obvious that a parent said “Kids, stop” but we don’t know who. Also, because of how the dialogue block is started, it is impossible to know which of the two kids starts off the argument. Poor writing and dialogue will weaken the story and ultimately lose the reader. Provide indicators that show who is speaking to avoid running into this problem. Another issue you may notice is that the argument is overly drawn out to the point that realistically the argument would have stopped or been stopped. Also it becomes too confusing deciphering between lines. You don’t want to have running dialogue that lasts for more than five to six lines before another physical action takes place to assist in showing the scene. In the example above the reader just sees dialogue and nothing else that assists in the scene, so not only do they lose track of who is speaking, they have no idea what any of the characters are physically doing. By the end of this dialogue you probably would have lost your reader completely.

Conclusion
      In short, when you write dialogue make sure it is relevant to the topic, makes sense with the characters and their personalities and attitudes, make sure the dialogue flows, and lastly make sure the reader knows who is speaking.
Dialogue 101
A friend of mine was trying to write a story and he wanted some help writing the dialogue so I wrote up this tutorial. I figured I'd post it here because others might find it useful too.
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I am incredibly frustrated right now, about two things. One, the birthday contest; 130-sh people looked at it but no one entered. I thought people would like a core membership as a reward, but I guess not. Second, and what really pissed me off, back in february I posted a short thing asking people to tell me if the poll I posted actually was seen by anyone. 150 people looked at that little question, and not one person, NOT ONE PERSON actually bothered to take 30 seconds to tell me if I had done it right. Why even bother looking at something titled "Quick Question" if you aren't even going to bother trying to answer it? I just don't get it.
Hey all, So, Patreon failed bigtime. I knew it would. That is completely irrelevant to the topic of this...wow...anyway, I have started making myself an online art portfolio for all my art creations from literature to music. There is also a blog there. And, when I finish editing my book, I may try to set up a shop thing to sell pdf copies or epub copies. My dream is to actually publish and print the book, but who knows. I will probably at least try to get a printed copy for myself when the book is done. I just don't know how much it would cost. Anyway, here's my site: whispricuswriting.net. And yes, I did code it all myself.

deviantID

WhispricusFox's Profile Picture
WhispricusFox
Drew
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I am a 17 year old aspiring author and artist. I write mostly fantasy and scifi. I also occasionally do visual art pieces. Every now and again I'll accept requests to add some variation to my gallery. Just note me if you want one, but keep in mind that I take a long time to complete them. Especially if they are literature requests. I also have a Minecraft server, so yea...go check out my website if you are interested.
Interests

Friends

:iconalexkh97: :iconnuwer-designs: :iconrieke-b: :iconderpmaster28: :iconestrellacazadora: :iconprussianhetarefox: :iconnanothewolf: :iconalainasaurus:

For those that read my "A Tale of Two Foxes" story, do you think I've turned my character Whisp into a "Marry Sue" type character? 

100%
1 deviant said No - he seems fine
0%
No deviants said Yes - his magic makes him too powerful and perfect
0%
No deviants said Yes - he is too flawless
0%
No deviants said No - he has some weaknesses

Comments


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:iconnuwer-designs:
Nuwer-Designs Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for faving my work  :)
Reply
:iconnuwer-designs:
Nuwer-Designs Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the watch! ^^
Reply
:iconmartith:
Martith Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's a real pleasure to welcome you to
:iconfoxytales:

Please stretch your paws, lay your ears and get some rest here! :3
If you wish, you're most welcome to use our official badge somewhere on your page!
I'm a proud Red Fox (Member) by Martith I'm a proud Arctic Fox (Member) by Martith I'm a proud Grey Fox (Member) by Martith
Reply
:iconwhispricusfox:
WhispricusFox Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
ok. Thanks
Reply
:iconrachiello:
Rachiello Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the llama back!
Reply
:iconwhispricusfox:
WhispricusFox Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
yw
Reply
:iconnuwer-designs:
Nuwer-Designs Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Just an update on the contest, there is currently Five days left until the deadline.  

If anything has come up or it has taken longer than usual to get the piece done, let me know.  I am always open to making it fair for all participants to get their entries in.  

nuwer-designs.deviantart.com/j…
Reply
:iconwhispricusfox:
WhispricusFox Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I have been struggling to come up with an idea for something that fits the topic of "majestic".I think I may have hit upon something but I don't know if I'd be able to have to have it completed by the deadline. It is a short story that I'm in the beginning of writing, but I'm so busy that it's hard to find time to write (band sectionals, private lessons for my instrument, clubs, extracurricular music ensemble, work, homework). I don't know how much extra time I would need or if my current piece is going to fit, but perhaps a couple extra days if I'm not close to being finished by the end of the allotted time for the contest. I'll let you know if I feel I need more time. 
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:iconnuwer-designs:
Nuwer-Designs Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Its alright, to help I have decided to extend the deadline to December 10th.
Reply
:iconwhispricusfox:
WhispricusFox Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
ok. thank you
Reply
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